08.04.2018, 22:31:00

is this how heaven feels: slap-happy, a grin on my lips, cheeks hurting from squeezing tight into the sea of young faces, shoulder to shoulder? I step on someone’s shoe, and it doesn’t trigger anything near claustrophobia – just joy. pure joy.

this is what we prayed for, after all. and I am reminded of this twice; but then somewhere along the way of driving home I realize this truth for my own self:

heaven did come– we brought it with us. each heart, beating fast, fidgeting in the black, folding seats — each one destined to be there, to intermingle with my story and teach me more about Love by stretching me wider than ever before.

yes, yes, yes – this is what we prayed for, after all.

-cv.

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21.02.2018, 23:05:00

“fill, be filled. there is power in the pouring out– because in Me, it’s how you are filled to overflow. you thought I only speak to you through others, but see how I speak through yours. you put My heart into words, the sounds frequencies paired together, strung into sentences, so delicately done.

but what you didn’t know is that I composed another melody underneath your tune– my song to you is evident in the way your heart lights up after a rush of love-words + excitement about My spirit. so sit, reflect– because I am very much alive in you.”

-cv.

18.02.2018, 07:58:53

there’s this psych class i’m taking online, social psychology, and it boggles my mind each time i finish a lecture. it teaches me, indirectly, so much about how i want to live intentionally; how not OK i am with running on autopilot and subconsciously running the race of automatic processes like a hamster on its wheel.

it humbles me down every time.
because i see myself, my thoughts, my tendencies.
and it reminds me– we’re all one and the same.

there’s this one concept that’s been reiterated a few times now: the “us versus them” phenomenon. in short, we like to group ourselves, create stereotypes and look for any + every confirmation to concur our bias; i’ll argue, we do this to make ourselves more comfortable, more ‘secure’-feeling and more entitled (for whatever reason)– we separate ourselves. on purpose. mostly without knowing… guilty.

so i repent, i bend the knee.
i remember Love, and the strength it wields.
Love is a superpower, easily overshadowed.

but when i differentiate, when i distance and when i don’t stop to really see the person– like reeeeally see, i am the hamster on its wheel, blind to what’s really going on. ‘what is really going on,’ you ask? here’s what i know: golden threads are being sown into stories, unwittingly, and we walk around the pen of our lives, looking for meaning and accomplishments to add to our name — when, really, is that all there is in this life? is this the height of it– you live a few years, and then you go back to dust?

we think golden threads in mundane spaces are not for the ill at ease.
but my own story is proof that it’s far from that.
the truth is, golden threads are everywhere– if you choose to see them.

it’s always been an ‘us’. there’s never been a ‘them’. may i live with the certainty that Love binds us all together. and there are no exceptions.

-cv.

10.02.2018, 19:40:16

eyes heavy, laden with dust.
blink, rub the neck.
tendons, tense.
aches and pains, at this age.

what does it feel like
to be one of the dead?
one day,
we’ll know-

but today, we live.
lungs expand, hearts beat.
and if i’m really still,
maybe i’ll hear hope’s rhythm.

-cv