13.10.2017, 10:35:44

from grace to grace.
from grace to grace.
from grace to grace.
-cv

Advertisements

11.10.2017, 11:17:54

instead,
sing.
you are not invisible,
just because you engage Me
alone, at home, among mundane tasks
like clinking utensils, cleaned and stacked.
you sing with
a raspy voice, matted hair, sleepy eyes and
you worry I don’t see you…
no– you worry nobody sees you.

that’s where you’re wrong:
your kitchen table is My centre stage,
and it is glorious.
-cv.

09.10.2017, 12:48:09

The A-word.

You’ve wiggled your fingers in my direction, a sly grin on your face. You’ve changed shape and form over the last few years, but you’ve always looked exactly like me.

Somewhere along the way, I believed I was no better than you, not worthy of being understood and even asking for help. Unseen, I internalized you as my identity for far too many moments than I’d like to admit.

But I see you for what you are. You aren’t my friend, my comfort or a source of safety. You’re a liar. You are paralyzing fear dripping with disappointment at every corner — lurking around, trying to rob me from what was originally and has always been meant for me.

I was made for community, for love and grace.
I was made for leadership, for creative expression and peace.
I was made for God’s heart, and His home is found in mine.

If naming your demons exposes the darkness to light and invites love back in, I’ll set my mind ablaze, transparent, illuminating the truth of how desperately I need a Saviour to heal the battle wounds I’ve tried so hard to hide. I’ll stand among fluorescent lights, telling the story of how fashioning an image of perfection was a complete waste of my life’s calling to creativity and redemption. If living gloriously small, humbly and always looking for my soul-Lover’s beauty will radically reform a hardened, scar-tissued heart, I will gladly jump in and douse myself in gratitude and grace.

This isn’t a freedom merchandise stand,
here one day, gone the next: this is real life.
This is a war, a constant tug of war– of whose side I choose to believe.

This isn’t an attention-seeking cry or protest.
This is a rally, a yell to echo into the wilderness:
that the captives are not alone– they are warriors, strong and powerful.

I will march around your city walls seven billion times if I need to.
I will be a ragamuffin, claiming victory before your gates even fall,
I will shout joy, dance without restrain and bang the beat of Heaven’s drum.

This soul is God-country,
and you have no place here.

go back where you came from, hell.
anxiety, you have no dominion here.
-cv.

12.04.2017, 09:57:21

18 things I would tell my 18-year-old self:

1. I love your heart– for people, for passion, for perspective
2. you’re not going to graduate “on time” in four years, but five – and that is more than okay. it doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means you fight to live life slower, more present.
3. every day is an adventure into the unknown + what-could-be. keep an open mind, don’t plan it all in one night.
4. yeah, that boy that broke up with you on the first day of first year? don’t fret darling, there really are good men out there, and your time in relationships that didn’t work out wasn’t wasted.
5. the love-journey with God is the most exciting relationship ever, and haha, girl … you’re just getting started.
6. you are worthy of grace in the “my life has been flipped upside down” moments and the diagnoses and titles placed on your head.
7. love your body. love it. I still have to tell myself this: but you are enough.
8. friend groups change, seasons shift – and it’s all okay.
9. your story is being written by the Creator, not his creations (you will learn this the hard way, but it’s all grace – there’s purpose in the process)
10. drink your water, set boundaries, get enough sleep, eat healthy
11. you can’t be everything to everyone, and you’ll fail trying to do so
12. the dreams in your heart matter, and you should pursue them
13. your Facebook friends and Instagram followers count doesn’t matter, you love the people in front of you really well, focus on them
14. fight for presence, for authenticity. even when it seems you’re the only one
15. feeling the #feelz is your superpower, it’s not the enemy.
16. you shift the atmosphere in every room you walk in, royal one – you are significant and powerful
17. the struggle, the hustle, the pain — it’s all gonna be worth it.
18. life is so good babe. here, now. it’s beautiful, and it’s only getting more and more beautiful every day.

you are so dang loved,
-cv.

03.01.2017, notebook.

You took me
to a secret place.
I’m hidden in
the secret places.
And my soul-amnesia becomes
mind-amnesia.
And I am forgetfulness and peace all over.
My cares fell in the ocean-sky
on the way here.
I am a week’s worth of bliss,
and presence.
He gave me this present:
to rest, to awe, to be fully here.
Some may call it
carelessness,
to not give thoughts
to people, to life, to the things you miss.
But I breathe
salty air and
watch the sung through
the yellow blinds,
streaking in.
This is a supernatural encounter:
never meant to give spare thoughts,
like change we throw in fountains,
away.
No,
I am one with God.
I have Christ’s mind.
I am here, fully now,
and I am found.
Thoughts are made to spill in thousands.
Hundreds,
given to those we love.
If we are full, our mind and body and soul lost in Him,
that is when we are found.
We are free.
We are fully — we.
You, I.
We were never meant to traverse sunken ships
with sunken hearts,
blue-frozen and pressure-cracked.
Hide, dear soul.
Rest is found along the map of daily moments.
Quiet. Still.
No one body will tell you the beauty–
perfectly.
Because only you can see it,
only you know where to hide.
In Him. in Him. in Him.
There is beauty in demise.
The opportunity to come,
to stay,
to be emptied –
and filled.
with Holy Spirit living wild.
You gather.
In the quiet, the rest.
Because here– right here,
is where God is tangible in the way that He loves.
He is never-ending fountains,
and birds singing.
I am strength all over and I never want to leave.
-cv.